Melissa Urban, the author of The Book of Boundaries, talks about the concept of choosing your hard.
Yes, change is hard, but staying trapped in dysfunction is hard, too.
Letting go of destructive patterns is hard, but dealing with the ramifications of those patterns is a lot harder.
Making time for self-care in a chaotic schedule is hard, but dealing with burnout & exhaustion is a lot harder.
Investing in your health is hard, but trying to navigate complex waters by yourself is hard, too.
The truth is, growth is hard…
There’s no way around that. However, it doesn’t have to be impossible or overburden you in the process. The best way to approach a situation that you wish to change is to A) clearly define your desired outcome, B) list ways to accomplish that aspiration, and C) be realistic with your resources.
Weigh the pros & cons of doing the same things you’ve always done vs. taking inspired action toward a desired goal.
I’ll give you an example.
Let’s say you want to stop eating out every day for lunch and eat healthier meals at work. You have a few options: you can either start preparing lunches in advance and bring them to work (this takes time to plan groceries and prepare the meals, but it’s cost-effective), or, you could purchase pre-made meals online (doesn’t call for any cooking or grocery shopping, but it’s less cost-effective).
Evaluate your resources.
Do you have more time or money to spare? Do you have people willing to help you: (significant others, child care, friends)? Do you have the skill set to fulfill the task (i.e. ability to cook)? If not, are you willing to learn? It’s okay to be practical with what’s going on in your life, and it doesn’t have to be perfect; but ultimately, it’s up to you to do what you can with what you’ve got.
The last option is, of course, to do nothing. Continue to eat out at work, and get frustrated when nothing changes.
All options are difficult in their own way, but you get to choose. Which hard do I want? The option that’s hard now & easy later, or easy now, but harder down the line?
Usually, taking new action towards a desired goal feels hard in the moment, but feels really good in the long run. For example, going for a walk right now might not feel as good as laying on the couch does, but feels great when you’re done and feels even better down the line when you’ve established a healthy habit. Sometimes, the things that feel hard now will make your life easier & more fulfilling later on.
“Choosing your hard” goes beyond nutrition & lifestyle…
This perspective can be applied to all areas of life: finances, mental health, relationships, and career.
For example, do you want to continue engaging in a harsh inner dialogue, or seek help and learn to speak to yourself with kindness and acceptance?
Do you want to continuously spend money on frivolous things, or save & invest in the things that really matter?
Which is harder now… but easier & more fulfilling later?
My mission as a holistic nutritionist isn’t just about the food on your plate…
It’s about disrupting patterns, breaking cycles, and helping you find true freedom and peace in your health in all ways (mind, body, spirit).
To learn more about working together, you can send me an email here.
Choose your hard
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